Today, my friend, Elle Rowley has contributed to Motherhood Month. She's the genius behind Solly Baby Wraps. I could talk for hours about how amazing this wrap is and how it's so far above any other infant carrier on the market. Elle and her product have been featured in so many places [check out the many places here]. Not only is Elle a driven business woman, she's also an effortlessly beautiful and savvy mama that eloquently and honestly writes about her life as a "Mamaprenuer" (love that phrase, Elle). Blog found here.
Lucy and I were lying there together on the intricate quilt Jared’s great aunt made, the kind I will never be able to make, crying like babies. I guess it’s important to note that she was a baby, a three-month-old with colic to be exact, and I was a 25 year-old woman who was supposed to be her mother.
Only I didn’t know how to be.
Which explains the crying. (Hers and mine.)
I finally got on my knees and whispered a prayer for help. The kind of prayer you don’t forget, the kind you feel like your whole life depends on. I pled that I could be the kind of mom that little girl needed instead of the weak, tired, frustrated, ball of tears that I was. I prayed for strength and for patience and understanding. Then I offered up everything. I said I would do and be whatever God wanted me to be if He would help me do this right. This was one thing I just couldn’t screw up.
I wasn’t transformed into Mrs. Brady, but I felt peace and warmth, and the feeling that it was going to be okay. More importantly, I felt that I was enough and that, even with all of my imperfections, I was supposed to be Lucy’s mom. That confirmation carried me through many moments of feeling inadequate and unequipped as I watched other new moms take on the role effortlessly and led to me becoming a much better, happier mother.
I used to be ashamed of that memory, but now I feel proud. In a weird way, that is what motherhood is to me. Not the fetal-position-crying-with-
your-baby part, but the striving to be better part. To me, motherhood is about learning to love more, being humble and honest enough to admit when we need help, with the added bonus of finding that we unearth our best selves as we kindle these new spirits and teach them .
It's really such an astoundingly beautiful process that sometimes gets clouded in the day-to-day grind of nursing and dirty diapers and all of the seemingly mundane tasks that motherhood brings. So the next time you feel overwhelmed by your fussy baby or changing your spit-up covered shirt for the third time in a row begins to feel burdensome, think for a minute about who all of those "mundane" tasks are helping you to become. It will probably make you hold that baby a little closer and, who knows, it may even make that stinky diaper smell a
little sweeter less stinky. :)